Parenting Teenagers.
Nobody said parenting teenagers would be easy.
Nope!
I’ve never heard it said.
I had thoughts for this post that began to take shape during my shower.
Anyone else have this stream of thoughts when they’re in the shower?
Or when you are awakened at 2 in the morning by thoughts?
Or is this just me?
The first two lines of my poem on Tuesday were 2 A.M. thoughts.
There was probably more, but I cannot ever pull myself awake enough to grab a pen and paper.
I wasn’t going to write this post because I keep trying to put my blog into a box.
And every time I try, my thoughts try to claw their way out of that box.
And still, I wasn’t going to write.
Until I read a post by a blogging friend.
I stumbled upon Dee’s blog early in my blogging journey.
God has a way of using her posts to get right at my soul. And today’s was no different.
Any other day, I would have just nodded my head in agreement as I read along.
But today… it is to write… to be vulnerable.
Parenting isn’t easy.
Nobody says that parenting teens is easy.
Or even that parenting, in general, is easy.
But with teenagers the message is cryptic.
What do you mean, not easy?
Well, I’ll tell you why it’s cryptic.
Because when you are parenting teenagers, there is this fine line between your life and their’s.
And their life has a right to some level of privacy no matter what you’ve chosen for your own.
But I will tell that it is one of the most exhausting seasons of my life thus far.
Moments of being thrust back into the insecurities of my teenage years.
Moments of “oh no, they are too much like me” and others of “oh no, they aren’t like me at all”.
When they aren’t actually deeming the need for you to be worried about them, you are worrying about when the next time will come that will deem your worry.
And I’m not talking about major life-altering situations.
Just daily life.
The choices they make each and every day.
I’m not saying that this is everybody’s experience.
This is mine.
I work in a very internalizing way.
I overanalyze.
And I have a need for control.
Plus, I don’t like chaos.
None of these are wonderful elements of my personality when dealing with teens.
Teens with minds of their own.
Teens who are trying to find their independence.
And, lastly, teens who are figuring out their place in the world.
Raising teens has also made me, at moments, feel like I am at sea…alone.
Often, I feel this need to portray that everything in life is smooth sailing.
To brush off the moments when life feels overwhelming.
To hide the moments when I wonder if I will make it through this season.
I realize it doesn’t have to be that way.
It takes a village.
I truly believe it takes a village to raise children.
In a lot of cases, that is your surrounding family.
But when you don’t live near them, like in my case, you have to build a village.
Finding that village requires vulnerability.
For a person who rehashes everything they’ve said and wonders if it “came across the way it was meant” or if they were “too open” or “not open enough” this can be very hard.
And it takes time to build a village.
Because you need to feel like you trust the people in your village.
Trust them to care for you.
And trust them not to judge your parenting skills.
Trust them not to judge you if your child makes a poor decision.
And most of all, to trust them to share in your journey.
There are no perfect children.
There are no perfect parents.
Just imperfect people trying to figure out the world as they move along in it.
I love my children fiercely.
I am their biggest cheerleader.
And I have no doubt that we will look back at this season and share many laughs.
Because even in the midst of the daily challenges, there is laughter and there is love.
Your story is important.
There is a village willing to listen.
It may require you stepping outside of your comfort zone to find them.
But they are there.
Waiting to embrace you.
Waiting to walk alongside you.
If you haven’t found them yet, I wish you great speed in the journey.
Let your light shine!
Amy
