Valentine’s Day.
Happy Valentine’s Day!!
A day that has become symbolic with love.
How do you show somebody that you love them?
Is it with chocolate, wine, and roses?
A heartfelt letter proclaiming your undying love?
Or is it much more simple?
A shy smile, an intertwining of fingers as you stroll along, a stolen kiss under the light of a full moon?
And what about the other people in your life?
How do you show them that you love them?
We keep things more on the simple side in our home.
But that is because this is what works for us.
And it took us time to figure that out.
Love Languages.
Early in our marriage, I read a book called The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman. The premise is that there are 5 primary ways of being shown love that fill your “love tank”.
They are:
- Words of Affirmation
- Acts of Service
- Receiving Gifts
- Quality Time
- Physical Touch
Usually one of these ways is your primary love language. There are tests you can take. I personally find that I’m pretty bad and still figuring out things with a test (I’m the person who marks “sometimes”, but almost never marks “always” or “never”).
With the love languages, I found that your primary language is usually the way that you most show love to others.
For me, I used to think my language was receiving gifts.
I love a good gift.
The mystery involved in receiving something.
The excitement as you open it up.
But over time, I learned that I most show love through Acts of Service.
When I wake up and start making breakfast for my children before my first cup of coffee… that’s how I show them I love them.
When I make their lunches…that’s how I show them I love them.
I do the laundry, but everyone is responsible for putting their stuff away.
And when I put my husband’s clothes away or iron them for him…that’s how I show him that I love him.
His love language, however, is physical touch.
He likes to hold hands, be near each other…and God love him, he picked the wife who likes that in small doses.
It’s not that I don’t want to be that girl.
I love that girl.
That is a girl who is a sweet as apple pie. With a side of sweet tea.
That is the girl who hugs her girlfriends when she sees them.
That is the girl who makes a stranger feel like her best friend.
And it all comes naturally.
None of that has come naturally to me.
No matter how deeply in my bones I wish that it were so, it has not.
But to love somebody in the way that most speaks to them, you do those things.
You learn how to love them in both the ways that speak to you and the ways that speak loudest to them.
Because Love is a Verb.
We show love through our actions.
To our significant others.
To our children.
And to the people that we pass each day on our daily walk of life.
The hubby got me a new perfume for Valentine’s Day. Ralph Lauren’s Romance. It was my go-to fragrance when I was the young mother with three toddlers in tow. Its scent made me feel beautiful on those days when I was wading through potty training and diaper changes.
I recently passed the perfume in the department store, stopped to smell it and was transported back to a time when our life was much more simple. I mentioned it to the hubby, who tucked that conversation away and surprised me with it.
Even more special to me than the gift, was the fact that he had listened to my words and then proceeded to show me “love in action.”
Are you treating love as a verb?
If I speak with human eloquence and angelic ecstasy, but don’t love, I’m nothing but the creaking of a rusty gate. 1 Corinthians 13:1
Let your light shine!
Amy