It seems so hard to believe. I just can’t fathom how the time passed. One day I was calling into the hospital at 6:00 in the morning to see if I was going to be induced and the next I’m sitting here processing the fact that I have a sixteen year old. I can still remember that day vividly. There wasn’t an open bed. I called back at 8:00 and was told to come down. My favorite song at the time was “Amazing Love” by the Newsboys. As we pulled into the hospital, it came on the radio. I sat there until it was finished and thought about how much love I had for this child that I hadn’t yet gazed upon. Then we went inside to start the induction. Some hours later, I would meet my 9 lb 11 oz little boy.
Obviously, there has been a lot of living in between the moment when I first became a mother to the beautiful boy who had made his way into the bright light of the outside world and to today where he stands at 6’5″, towering over me.
Everybody tells you that it all passes quickly. You believe them, but think that you’ll be able to savor it all. That time will pass more slowly for you. But it doesn’t. You go about your life enjoying, lamenting, smiling, crying, and trying to bask in the gloriousness of it all. And then you arrive at a destination that you knew was coming and you wonder how in the world you have gotten there.
Sixteen feels like such a right of passage in my mind. At that age, I got my driver’s license and was finally allowed to date. His passing into sixteen does not have that same attachment. Virginia licensing is at 16 and 3 months and so he won’t be driving on dates until after that. I still think it’s a pivotal time. They are making so many more decisions for themselves. You are guiding them, but at this point they are much more self accountable for their decisions. I miss the days that have passed, but I am excited to see what his future holds. I wonder about what twists and turns he will take to find his brand of happiness. And I am overjoyed in the fact that I will be there to see it unfold.