It happened again!
You may be asking what happened again.
Well, I blinked my eyes and another one of my children crossed the threshold into adulthood.
Yep! On August 17th, son #2 (Mr D) turned 18.
I wrote about this second blessing of mine when he turned 15 (you can read that post here). I love having these posts that I consider love letters to my children (you may recall I have one actually titled as such: letter to my daughter).
As I reread the words of the post to Mr. D, one area that stood out was this:
Today, a day older. Today, a day closer to a man. My mother’s heart is overwhelmed. Always my children. Always my loves. But always growing closer to the day when they will venture out on their own.
That’s what this is about though.
This circle of life.
Loving them.
Growing them.
Sending them.
And this ending fact has been ever-present in these past three months.
Mr. D moved right after graduation.
Hours and hours and states away.
I have seen him in those three months, but not on his birthday. And I will tell you that as a mother, it was so hard. I talked to him and I had sent a card (in which, interestingly enough and completely unknown to me until I sat to write this post, I closed with the same line from Robert Munsch’s book that the post above closes with).
Top: Moving Day
Bottom: Graduation Day
But it wasn’t the same.
My heart still aches that he isn’t in the room upstairs. I guess that’s why I haven’t sat to write this post before today. The ache is tender and fresh and I’m still settling into this new normal way. This way in which a piece of your heart has wandered off to spread its wings.
My boys are only 18 months apart, so I have written about my first moment of becoming the mother of an adult. Big Mr. moved away for a bit so the moving out is not new for me, but the length of time is part for me. I didn’t leave my hometown until I was 30, and still, my mother’s heart ached when I left.
It reminded me of the slow release of motherhood. And while it was originally written for his brother, every part of the poem, Childhood Abandoned, holds true for Mr. D as well.
I am happy for Mr. D. I do love that he is on his adventure, forging his path and figuring it all out. These are the moments we’ve been journeying towards.
But they are bittersweet moments.
They are both the beauty and the chaos.
Let your light shine!
Amy
