Silence.
I wasn’t going to post today.
Silence.
I’m having a melancholy day. It happens to me sometimes. Usually when things are racing along at too frantic of a pace or one of my teens is causing me internal angst, or it’s winter (sometimes all of the above). As is often the case with melancholy, it’s hard to pinpoint exactly the reasons…if any. I suspect SAD (seasonal affective disorder) may play a role, as well.
Silence and withdrawing are my tendencies on melancholy and high anxiety days.
The Thing about Silence.
The thing about silence is that sometimes it’s best to speak.
This space with my blog is to spread love and kindness, to share the beauty of the world through my words or my photos, but it’s also a place for me to process. A place to pour out the reality of me. I am often able to look through a lens of gratitude, to focus on the beauty, to remind myself that this too shall pass.
Then there are days when this process of growth on the journey is a little harder.
So today, I write.
Memories.
After running some necessary (and semi-unnecessary…I discovered bathing suits are in stores …and I have an upcoming trip to Aruba) errands, I decided to pop on Facebook. My nephew’s birthday was yesterday and I had left a message over there. One of the things (and there are really only a few) I do like about that social media space is when it brings up past memories.
One of the memories that Facebook shared for today was actually an Instagram post from two years ago.
This one in fact:
Blog.
I wondered which blog post this was referencing. It was interesting that the post that I wrote on this day two years ago should be about silence. Not only, silence, but the silence brought about by a freshly fallen snow. If you saw my Silent Sunday post, then you know that my take on the weekly photo challenge theme of “silence“, was our most recent snow.
Sometimes I cringe when I read my older posts, but this one was a perfect read for my melancholy spirit. I thought I’d reblog it, but that button seems to have disappeared for the moment. If you’d like to read my post, Silence is Golden, just click on those words.
The post was a reminder to me to search for the beauty in the midst of chaos, to stay in awe and wonder at the gloriousness of it all, to smile along the journey…because this is life.
I hope it offers the same reminder for you.
Let your light shine!
Amy
Melancholy hits me in the dark months too. Since I am in the sun this month, I have not experienced it yet. But, we go to Seattle next month to spend some time there. I wonder if it will hit then? It seems to be worse in my older years!
I’m glad to hear that you are in the sun. I hope that it’s avoided in Seattle. I often take Vitamin D in the winter, but hadn’t started it yet this year. I’ve remedied that! 🙂
I still take vitamin D and calcium everyday (but Im old!)
I never thought about Vitamin D since I lived in Florida. I had a rough winter when I first moved to Virginia and Vit D was suggested.
I feel like I have been living in a dark cave for the last 20 years! Seattle is our home and where we raised our kids. We still have a house there and will be going back and forth. But having access to the sun, here in Tucson, has been wonderful! I may be able to take less vitamin D now!
I have a bit of the SAD, too. It was much worse when I was younger. I’d have terrible insomnia all winter, for one.
I enjoy the gray days and the rain, but even I, the pluviophile, get a bit cranky after too many days without sunshine.
Silence is remarkably comforting at times. I don’t have near enough of it.
I appreciate your ups and downs, Amy – you’re genuine.
I think that I may have some insomnia too, which definitely doesn’t help the matter. I took Vitamin D a few winters and think I may need to do that again.
Thanks Joey! I appreciate that you see me as genuine. That means a lot. I would hate to be thought of otherwise.
I do like gray days, but definitely not days like that on end. I thinks it’s the lack of green and days of cold that get me. I’m very happy that we have some evergreens and I’m thinking of adding more houseplants (assuming I can be confident that the puppy won’t eat them).
I laugh to myself about silence because I’ve had tinnitus for as long as I can remember, so I guess I don’t know complete silence, but I do know my version of silence. 🙂
I’m having a houseplant crisis, Amy. I think they’re mad at me for going to work. Seriously.
They do have a way of bringing in light and cheer 🙂
Sorry about that tinnitus.
I don’t touch our houseplants. I’m pretty sure they cry when they think I may come near them. lol.
Oh bless! lol
I have melancholy days too. The girl I used to work with pulled me up for it one time, and made me realise that they happen every few weeks or months, like clockwork.
It’s interesting that they happen like clockwork. I’ve not paid close enough attention to mine to see if there’s any regularity to them. I did feel much better after writing and then doing a guided meditation. Not fully back to myself, but closer 🙂