Today was back to school day for my teenagers.
It’s always such a bittersweet day for me.
On one hand, I’m happy to get back into routine…and have some silence.
On the other, it marks a moment in time of being one step closer to having my little birds fly from my nest.
I have taken “first day of school” photos from the moment their tiny fingers left my grasp to enter into the preschool building.
Miss Sunshine wasn’t sure if she was riding to school with a friend. When she discovered that she was, there was a mad dash to collect her backpack and race out the door.
I grabbed my camera to snap a photo before she raced away. I forgot that I had been playing with the camera the day before and the settings were completely incorrect for this shot.
I quickly tried to switch to auto mode for one last chance…
I didn’t make it.
I’ve already told her, that after school she will have to pose so that I can to collect my memory shot.
However, for me, this photo sums up this phase of my motherhood.
This passage of time.
Like a river flowing.
Fighting the distractions as I try to breathe these moments into my soul.
My children are becoming more and more independent.
As they should.
I am keenly aware of the marking of days until Big Mr. will leave the confines of high school. I have heard that his his Senior year will fly by.
And as it does, those days will sweep my other two children along as well.
Suddenly, we will be at the precipice, looking out at the horizon, and my first bird will be flying. Mr. D will see his moment. He will be there in eager anticipation knowing that he is only a year behind. And on that precipice, even Miss Sunshine will see the changes. A brother leaving, the other one planning his flight, and her entering into high school.
Too soon they will no longer be my little birds.
This fleeting phase of motherhood coming to an end.
I think about that future…
Who will they become?
Who will I become?
But for today, I will breathe and sit with the present.
Let your light shine!