I am afraid to show you who I really am, because if I show you who I really am, you might not like it...and that's all I got. Sabrina Ward Harrison quote

Nobody Said Parenting Teenagers Would Be Easy

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Nope!

I’ve never heard it said.

I had thoughts for this post that began to take shape during my shower.

Anyone else have this stream of thoughts when they’re in the shower? Or when you are awakened at 2 in the morning by thoughts?

Or is this just me?

The first two lines of my poem on Tuesday were 2 A.M. thoughts. There was probably more, but I cannot ever pull myself awake enough to grab a pen and paper.

I wasn’t going to write this post because I keep trying to put my blog into a box. And every time I try, my thoughts try to claw their way out of that box. And still, I wasn’t going to write. Until I read this post. I stumbled upon Dee’s blog early in my blogging journey. God has a way of using her posts to get right at my soul. And today’s was no different.

Any other day, I would have just nodded my head in agreement as I read along.

But today… it is to write… to be vulnerable.

Nobody says that parenting teens is easy.  Or even that parenting, in general, is easy.

But with teenagers the message is cryptic.  What do you mean, not easy?

Well I’ll tell you why it’s cryptic.

Because when you are parenting teenagers, there is this fine line between your life and their’s.  And their life has an right to some level of privacy no matter what you’ve chosen for your own.

But I will tell that it is one of the most exhausting seasons of my life thus far.

Moments of being thrust back into the insecurities of my teenage years. Moments of “oh no, they are too much like me” and others of “oh no, they aren’t like me at all”.

When they aren’t actually deeming the need for you to be worried about them, you are worrying about when the next time will come that will deem your worry.

And I’m not talking about major life-altering situations.  Just daily life.

The choices they make each and every day.

I’m not saying that this is everybody’s experience.

This is mine.

I work in a very internalizing way.  I overanalyze. I have a need for control. I don’t like chaos.

None of these are wonderful elements to my personality when dealing with teens.

Teens with minds of their own. Teens who are trying to find their independence. Teens who are figuring out their place in the world.

Raising teens has also made me, at moments, feel like I am at sea…alone.

I feel this need to portray that everything in life is smooth sailing.

To brush off the moments when life feels overwhelming.

To hide the moments when I wonder if I will make it through this season.

I realize it doesn’t have to be that way.

Pelicans in flight… Pt 2 . .Finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could. Some blunders and absurdities no doubt crept in; forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day. You shall begin it serenely and with too a high a spirit to be encumbered with your old nonsense. -Ralph Waldo Emerson . . . . . #fiftyshades_of_nature #sheisnotlost #wearetravelgirls #travelgram #travelblogger #travelawesome #instatravel #destinationearth #roamtheplanet #optoutside #birdsofinstagram #pocket_beaches #pocket_allnature #rsa_outdoors #ipulledoverforthis #naturehippys #naturelovers #livefolk #lifeofadventure #liveauthentic #stayandwander #visitnc #exploretocreate #beachvibes #staysalty #modernoutdoors #forgeyourownpath #thehappynow

A post shared by Amy Lyon Smith (@amy.lyon.smith) on

I truly believe it takes a village to raise children.  In a lot of cases, that is your surrounding family.  But when you don’t live near them, like in my case, you have to build a village.

Finding that village requires vulnerability.  For a person who rehashes everything they’ve said and wonders if it “came across the way it was meant” or if they were “too open” or “not open enough” this can be very hard.

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And it takes time to build a village.

Because you need to feel like you trust the people in your village.

Trust them to care for you.  Trust them not to judge your parenting skills. Trust them not to judge you if your child makes a poor decision.  Trust them to share in your journey.

There are no perfect children.

There are no perfect parents.

Just imperfect people trying to figure out the world as they move along in it.

I love my children fiercely.

I am their biggest cheerleader.

I have no doubt that we will look back at this season and share many laughs.

Because even in the midst of the daily challenges, there is laughter and there is love.

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Your story is important.

There is a village willing to listen.

It may require you stepping outside of your comfort zone to find them.

But they are there.

Waiting to embrace you.

Waiting to walk alongside you.

If you haven’t found them yet, I wish you great speed in the journey.

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Let your light shine!

Amy

 

 

 

 

 

10 thoughts on “Nobody Said Parenting Teenagers Would Be Easy

  1. I’m not a parent yet, but man I can hardly imagine what it’s like to raise a teen. I look back on the way I acted in high school and get so embarrassed! Just so bratty! I think it’s safe to say it will get easier though for sure. I’m in my 20’s now and my parents are two of my best friends and confidants. That will come in time 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    • It is definitely harder than I gave my parents credit for 🙂 I think it gives me a new appreciation for how I see my teen years with them.
      I also know that no matter what I thought during my teen years, my parents are amazing and we are very close.
      I can only hope that my journey with my 3 will be the same. 🙂

      Like

  2. I can fully relate. This is exactly the point I’m at right now, with one of my boys already a teenager, and the other not far behind. When kids are babies, people will sometimes tell you that it gets easier, but that couldn’t be farther from the truth. There is no easy stage. As parents, we have to make the most of each of these unique stages and remind ourselves that we are doing our best. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Wonderful post!
    I believe in the village theory too.
    I think most of us are particularly good at certain stages, and that also, that depends heavily on which kid.
    But I tell ya, Amy, you love fiercely, you show them the way, and you over-analyze all you want, cause that’s kept them alive and well this long ❤

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Oh Amy, your words have encouraged me so much this week – so timely, and I am so overwhelmed that God used my post to encourage you to share your beautiful words -because your words make a huge difference to me and do so often. We are just entering into the teen years with our eldest – and I feel like I keep seeing glimpses of myself also – and it’s scary. It feels like constantly trying to put boundaries in place and wondering where the line is to place them – to keep them safe and to give them enough freedom…Oh, and I was just saying to my husband today that I wish there was a water proof pen and whiteboard in the shower or in the car, because those are the places that full posts seem to download into my mind …and then they are mostly gone after I get out of the shower or car haha. Thanks for your post. It was beautifully vulnerable and brave. I am so inspired.

    Liked by 1 person

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